**death**

hello guys.

sorry for my very long silent~been busy.wuwu.
well talking about death...When I was 15, I read a quote from anonymous: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 8 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

Talking about death,something i want to share with korang.my mak suddenly complaint to me that she had this kind of discharge from her nipple.and the day after few checkup,the doctor postulated that she might be diagnosed to have breast cancer and the best part was,the doctor have asked mak to go home and get her affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. (how could he scare mak macam gitu kan!)i mean like the mammogram semua havent been done yet but shes trying to scare her with those scary dying imagination.

Yeah i admit being a human being..we are now dying rite?ish.u know what?after that mak seem to stay quitely in her doorlocked room and plan so as everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible.she said she dont want to say your goodbyes bcoz lots have to be done with a short period of time.she lived with that diagnosis all days.she keep thinking bout that til i feel the real depression i tell u.everybody ,apak called crying mak significant changes.few days after,accident pulak ..duh,dun know how to imagine that particular time i tell ! Later we insisted mak to see the specialist, and she agreed to see the doctor the following day.after much consideration and test.she finally diagnosed to have hormonal problem since the discharge came bilaterally.

huhh~what a relief!

see,how the misdiagnosed can really change the patient and the entire family itself.This was the closest experience of mak but i feel it was my experience for facing death myself! and I hope my closest I get my own one is a few more decades la btw.
Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away.
Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary!bare that in mind.

love ya all~
nite nite